Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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