i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
