there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
MIDGETS
????
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
