Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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