beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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