Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
