if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
