Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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