i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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