so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I FOUND THE LEGS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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