omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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