that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
