he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
