your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
