Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
