school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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