I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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