turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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