her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's just like the Real World with babies
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You made out with two different species that night
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
