i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
