I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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