Kiss
Puke
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
