Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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