How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
