Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize