He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
