you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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