3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
