I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
