I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
