Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
