Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
