what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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