yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
