Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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