His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i love accidental penises.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
