my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
