I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
