Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
