nut hugger
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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