there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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