he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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