Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
