I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
