I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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