Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
