Duck Duck Cougar?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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