it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
