How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
