Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
