There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
