Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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