hotel room ftw
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
